My Parent Is a Narcissist — Now What?
Break the Cycle. Reclaim Your Life. Begin Healing with Specialised Therapy for Adult Children of Narcissistic Parents.
You are not alone. I’m Jayne Tamsett, a qualified integrative counsellor here to support you through the emotional scars of narcissistic abuse. Whether you're struggling with guilt, low self-worth, or toxic relationships, together we can rediscover your voice, rebuild your confidence, and bring your true self forward — one safe step at a time.
About Me
Let’s Talk About Why You’re Here
Hi! My name is Jayne Tamsett, I specialise in supporting adult children who’ve quite often experienced many traumatic events at the hands of a narcissistic parent. You may now want to break the cycle and find freedom in your life. I offer online therapy via Zoom video link.
Do Any of These Ring True for You?
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There are many dramas with your parent, it's all about them.
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They say you or others are to blame, never them.
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They may try and put you off people you are close to.
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Intentionally undermine you, ignore you or give you the silent treatment.
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They may call you selfish and say, “You don’t care about me!"
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No room for you and your feelings, you put yourself last.
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They may be very controlling — either showing it obviously or manipulating in a passive-aggressive manner.
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They take all of the positive energy out of you.
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You feel like you have to walk on eggshells around them, they may frighten you.
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You constantly feel self-doubt and guilt.
Understanding Relationship Patterns & Emotional Abuse
Healing begins with awareness. Let's talk about what you've been through—and what you deserve.
Secure Relationships
​I very much hope if you have a current partner, it is a happy and healthy relationship where you both treat each other with respect and listen to each other’s emotional needs. And/or you might have loving, supportive friend(s) &/or friendship group(s). If these are the case, it is great news!
​Positive Resources
Having a loving supportive partner/positive friend(s) encouraging you through life can make a big difference. You can never have too many positive resources in life! People that are helping you to move forward, who have your best interests at heart are said to be fantastic external positive resources. Internal positive resources are also important and these refer to supporting a healthy inner world. This may involve regular self-care including self-compassion, positive affirmations, kindness, forgiveness, being resilient and many more.
Insecure Attachments
However, when we’ve gone through an abusive childhood, the nurture and care in a secure environment is missing. We learn to respond in the safest way for us to survive. Therefore, we dismiss our own wants or needs and respond to a demanding, challenging, abusive parent. The consequences of this can be devastating for a child. As the child develops, large parts of their true selves are left behind, some parts from a very early age. With traumatic events, these parts are cut off and not reachable in our mind.
In therapy, I use a mixture of different approaches to bring these traumatised parts back into the present safely, helping you feel so much better and a whole person! What you have truly deserved all of your life!​ For adult children who have been through these experiences, they are particularly vulnerable to emotionally abusive relationships. Some may not be aware that their partner is controlling or manipulative. It is human nature for us to be super attracted to people that are very similar to how we’ve been treated earlier in life.
Some adult children who have been subjected to an abusive upbringing spend much of their life in isolation as it is the only place they feel safe. They may feel lonely but too daunted by the prospect of trying to look for an ideal partner. In therapy, your past history together with your current life are studied where patterns are identified to understand how they have shaped who you are and your relationships. Some people keep falling for partners with the same toxic behaviours until they go to therapy and are supported in breaking the cycle.
Codependency
One of the warning signs you are/have been in an unhealthy relationship is codependency.
If you have a relationship with either a relative, a friend, a partner or someone else that you are close to but it seems all one sided in favour of the other person, you could be looking at codependency.
They may need everything on their terms and make all the decisions what is to be done, normally in their favour. They could completely rely on you to help them with things, coming across very needy. You may find initiating boundaries extremely hard with the person. However, you keep this up because you are afraid of any conflict or rejection.
Emotional abuse
This is a non physical but intentional form of abuse based on manipulating, dominating, belittling and causing harm to your emotional state. Common signs include:
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Constant criticism/humiliation.
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Withholding affection or giving the silent treatment
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Indimidation or threats.
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Blaming you for their behaviour or problems.
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Monitoring or controlling your actions, communications, or decisions.
​Unlike physical abuse, emotional abuse often escalates slowly and can be hard to pinpoint, especially when love, dependency, or fear are involved.
Gaslighting
This term is used to describe emotional abuse when one person makes the other doubt their perceptions of reality to gain control. Gaslighting often happens gradually, making it hard to identify in the moment. Common signs include:
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Being told you’re “too sensitive” or “overreacting” regularly.
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Denial of events or conversations that clearly happened.
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Blame-shifting: making you feel responsible for their hurtful behaviour.
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Being made to feel like your feelings or perceptions are invalid or irrational.
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Frequent lying or contradictions.
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Feeling confused, anxious, or like you can’t trust your own memory.
Narcissistic
There are many different levels of narcissism. A person may show some traits where they crave validation, admiration, are self-centred, feel entitled, sensitive to criticism, a fragile self esteem, have a lack of empathy, are competitive, image focused and manipulative. They may not see their behaviour as problematic.
These toxic relationships cause a person on the receiving end of the abuse, deep anxiety, stress, low self esteem, low self-worth and shatter confidence. They may find it difficult to trust themselves or others.
It is important to set boundaries and seek support. If you recognise any of these traits, talk to a trusted friend or contact me. You are not being “too sensitive” or “overreacting.” Your feelings are valid and your pain is real. Whether you’re currently in an abusive situation or healing from a past one, you deserve support.